These last couple of weeks have been a true roller coaster of ups and downs. On the positive side of the spectrum my wife and I are moving forward to purchase our very first house. We are positively giddy with anticipation, although that first mortgage payment will likely give me fits. However, for all the positive personal news there has been some truly negative personal news as well.
This last weekend has been extremely hard for me. My father who is 58 discovered on Friday that he has a mass in his right and left lungs. Given his smoking history and symptoms it seems likely we as a family are looking down the barrel of Lung Cancer. To be suddenly hit with the issue of your parent's mortality and cancer is hard, especially when you never thought it would be an issue for decades. My grandparents are still alive, surely they would go first I always thought. While we as a family have not given up hope, the waiting for answers is gnawing at all of us. Quietly I think we are all hoping it proves to be something that can be dealt with and my father will have many good years ahead of him. I hope our wishes are fulfilled.
I've known many people who didn't have positive relationships with their fathers, but for me, my Dad is the best man I know and he is an even better Grandfather to my children. To think he may not get to see my kids grow up and become adults themselves is killing me on the inside. He has always been there for me, but now... he may not be any longer. I have led a blessed life up to this point, I have known precious little grief in my life, but God this is hard.
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